"We used to call him a cowboy, now he's a bovine relocation specialist."

A surgeon is called a bowel relocation specialist.

"Hi, there. See gas prices are up, banks are closing, people are losing their money on their houses and guess what? The Democrats are in power. Is that a coincidence or is that by design?"

Republicans were in control when people started selling bogus mortgages and when we invaded Iraq. The Democrats couldn't do anything about it then; they can't do anything about it now.

"Can't something be done about these people walking the streets of this city in public, bare-chested? Who wants to see that? This is Salina, Kansas, not Montego Bay."

Great. Now we have Chest Police in Salina. That's all we need.

"Please, please, please tell the people to leave the dogs home. Most of us don't appreciate the dogs at Oakdale Park on the Fourth of July."

No dogs on the Fourth? What, you prefer soy burgers?

"The chance you catch a large mouth bass on an artificial lure, the chances of catching that fish again are almost zero. It has a brain the size of a pea. Are you going to vote Republican again and prove the fish is smarter than you?"

So that's why Republicans go to the polls with hooks hanging out of their mouths.

"I love Harley bikers, long hair, tattoos, drugs and all. At least they're for real. I hate wannabe bikers. They are phony and they are the disco of this century."

In the old days, riding was about "live and let live." It seems you forgot that part.

"333 line, I always wanted to know: If you were a comic strip, who would you want to be? My guess is Garfield because you're just kind of sassy and cute all the time."

Gosh, we were hoping people would take Ext. 333 seriously.

"Where are all these right-wing Republican crazies that a caller was complaining about? I haven't seen any; they must be hiding somewhere, or he could be talking about the People for Peace."

The right-wingers like to run under the radar, at least until they are elected to office. Some won't even admit to their social-conservative views. It's dishonest.

-- Journal staff

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WhatsUp says....
The idea behind the easy money mortgages was to get poor and minority families into their own homes with nothing down and a low credit score. The fact is many of them took advantage of the easy money and then moved out when the payments were due. The lesson is to keep lending standards high. The Republicans were trying to do something nice for poor folks. Now the Democrats are blaming them for being nice. Oh well. Won't make that mistake again. Democrats, you're right. Keep your feet on top of the poor folks.
7/18/2008

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