11/21/2009

My faith in journalistic standards has been utterly, irretrievable, destroyed. I can no longer take comfort knowing that, in some circles, standards of English usage are still held up as examples of journalistic excellence. The reason for this last and final blow to that fantasy occurred in the Nov. 2, 2009, edition of The New Yorker magazine.

I've subscribed to The New Yorker for years because I love the covers and the cartoons, and some of the articles aren't bad, either. There's some really fine fiction included, as well as pieces on culture and opinions of people who matter. I can read material there that I can't find anywhere else, and besides, it looks good on my coffee table.

So you can imagine the horror when on the inside back cover of this issue, in an ad for a Land Rover automobile, a large grammatical error leaps out of the page and smacks me right in the face. It's such an unforgivable error that I've decided not to buy a Land Rover, not now, not ever.

From the text of the ad, I gather that Land Rover now installs a system of five cameras in its automobile that enables the driver to see what's around the car in all directions. Since I know of only four directions: what's in front, what's in back and what's on either side of the automobile in which I am the driver, I was intrigued. Certainly this system would be an advantage, since it would save the driver from having to turn his or her head.

Maybe the fifth camera shows what's under the car, in case someone has run over something and would, thereby, save the driver from having to get out of the car, to bend over, maybe even to kneel down and peer under the chassis to see whatever's been flattened.

Or maybe there's a camera on top of the car to reveal airborne objects. Whatever.

But it's the headline in the ad that offends me any other reader who expects proper English. It reads, "YES, IN THE FRONT, BACK AND SIDE OF IT'S HEAD."

There it is again! That pesky apostrophe that pops up where it has no business. It's like the creature from the Black Lagoon that won't stay confined in its proper place. It so befuddles people that even those who work for a high-powered advertising agency and can count Land Rover among its clients can't figure it out.

So let us review the rules once more. "It's" is a contraction of "it" and "is." "Its" is used to show possession, just like "his" or "hers." No one uses an apostrophe in those words, so why is it so difficult to refrain from using the apostrophe in "its?" Published as written, the Land Rover advertisement headline actually reads "Yes, in the font, back and side of it is head" which makes no sense at all.

Did I contact The New Yorker magazine and point out its error? Certainly. Were they relieved to hear from me and gratefully acknowledged the error with a promise to never do that again? No. Nor did they say, "Look lady, we don't write 'em, we just print 'em." In fact, I did hear from them, but in a preformulated e-mail that also advised me of subscription options.

But I know in my heart that I have made an effort in the name of correct English usage, and I sleep better at night. And I saved the money I might have spent on a Land Rover.

n Jo Reed, Salina, taught English for 25 years -- 10 at Sacred Heart and 15 at Salina Central.

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