"Hey, I've seen that guy on that red chromed-out Harley -- dressed real nice, revving his engine Sunday morning, going to church. He is a good-looking devil."
Oh, no. Ext. 333 has turned into a dating service. Heaven help us.
"Why did the Salina School Board pay close to $40,000 for a grand piano, when there is one advertised in the Salina Journal for $2,900? Why $37,000 more was spent? Why $37,000 more was spent?"
The original story reported a cost of $40,000. A correction noted the cost was $19,999. Nonetheless, would you pay $1 for a watch and expect it to run true for decades?"
"Did anyone else see that UFO east of town last night?"
The next response explains your sighting.
"Maybe Salina would not be the DUI capital of the world if people were smart enough not to get in their car after they've been drinking. Let's see, an $8 taxi or a $3,000 DUI with loss of license. It doesn't take a rocket scientist."
"I love going to Minneapolis Junior-Senior High School. The teachers give you a great education and they're really hot to look at."
Lucky. Some of us had black-robed nuns for teachers.
"When I was a kid, we didn't have any $5 million fancy pants swimming pool. We swam in the Smoky and we liked it."
Snakes. Mud. Skeeters. Creepy crawlies. We dare you to swim in it now.
"How many years have the politicians been focused on gay marriage and abortion? Well, that's why we're in the big American economy mess right now, because they weren't focused on fuel efficiency and energy issues."
Don't blame politicians. Blame those that put them in office. (This time around, don't elect liberal or conservative extremists.)
"I'm an entomologist, the person who studies insects. I'd like to report that I've successfully crossed a praying mantis with a termite. What it will do, it will say grace before it eats your house."
We crossed a flea with a stinkbug. Now it's a little stinker.
"To the person who wants to donate his Dr. Suess books to the President Bush library: What did you donate to the President Clinton library? Your Playboy and Penthouse collection?"
Bush already has Dr. Suess. Clinton already has the porn. Send them something useful, like a lie detector.
"The reason it takes two women to go to the restroom is one knows how to get there and the other knows how to get back."
At least women know the way. They are smart enough to ask directions.
-- Journal staff
©Salina Journal