"You guys must really love Josh Svaty, you run a picture of him every day in the paper."
Around here he's known as "Svaty the Hottie."
"Why don't you print something where somebody is trying to make a point instead of printing stuff about a bunch of stupid penguins and zebras?"
Just for you, here are some from the Penguin Hall of Fame. This one started it all:
"I live in Hope, Kansas, and I've seen a penguin in our backyard three different times and I just wondered if anybody else has ever seen any. Nobody in town knows anything about it and I just wondered if someone is missing a penguin and how on earth it ever got here."
"I saw that penguin down in Hope buying ice at the 7-11."
"Residents of Hope, Kansas. Rest easy, you need no longer worry about your penguin problem. I am on my way. -- Batman."
"Hope, Kansas has been famous for puppy mills and kitten mills for years, but this illegal penguin breeding has got to stop."
"I'm sure glad to see Abilene hasn't gone to hell in a handbasket since they opened the adult store."
Are the protestors still out there writing down license plate numbers? We're tired of the neighbors borrowing ours.
"To the lady now living in Newton who wrote to the Journal saying she's glad she no longer lives in Salina: We Salinans would like to say we are sorry such an attitude lives anywhere. We send Newton our condolences and warmest thoughts."
Wait a few months. Newtonians will buy her bus fare to Sweetlips, Tenn.
"Maybe Central will get a new piano when South High gets their own stadium."
Maybe Central will get a new piano when Central gets its own pool.
-- Journal staff
©Salina Journal